Jesus Freak of the Week #6

This is the first time that I have posted a Jesus Freak athlete. This is surprising because there are a lot of athletes out there who thank god for winning a big game or have "john 3:16" on their eye black.

 These big winners obviously planned the adorable outfits they are so beautifully modeling. I'm honestly glad that these guys belong to Jesus, because if I was the owner of the team I would terminate their contracts before they could run to church and thank jesus for helping them win their big match. Seriously, take some credit, you worked your ass off and won, jesus has nothing to do with it. 

Grow up Peter Pan... Count Chocula...

Crazy Christian Facebook Status #2

First, this comment was left on his demon towel picture after someone laughed at him.

Jesus Love: 
it is not a laughing matter, I am not being comical at the least bit. I have been sharing info, thoughts, and beliefs with my brother and we are both on the same page, so IT decided to try and scare him. The imprint was left as warning, or a scare tactic, for my whole family. I decided to burn the towel outside at night and the very next morning, when my mom opened the back door, my dog had its hair standing up and darted into the house...


Jesus Love: 
Its sad what Satan can do when you sellout for fame... (speaking about Miley Cyrus)

Jesus Love:

Freakin barium in the sky that breaks down your immune system. I just got over being sick a few weeks ago and now this weekend I am again>:(


This guy is too much. Being so serious about some stupid stain on his towel is seriously hilarious. Then you have the whole Miley Cyrus thing. If we blamed Satan every time that some 18 yr old started doing drugs and being a whore then a lot more people would be rushing to church every week. Maybe she's just super rich and can therefore do whatever the hell she wants. Then we go to the "freaking barium" comment. This isn't so much a religious thing, but he is also WAY into conspiracy theories, so basically according to this fuck, we're all going to die from terrorists being paid by our government to train zebras to fly planes that spread barium and kill us all. Shut up dumbass. (Actually please keep posting because your shit is priceless)

Crazy Christian Facebook Status #1

So I've noticed a person I went to high school with has just recently "found jesus" and has been going a little crazy with his facebook status updates. Some of them are so funny that I will be publishing them here.

Jesus Love: (not his real name but we will stick with it for now)

Just watched the "Fourth Kind." It was good for what it was. I found out that the "real" footage and "real" case studies were all fake. Just another cheap trick to try and make us believe that "aliens" created people. Haha. I almost lost my faith in God for a second....not.

Jesus Love:

‎"The majority of today's music, especially the type liked by the majority, has satanic lyrics or messages embedded in the lyrics through methaphors and symbolism. It is bringing about a decaying in society. An increase in heavy partying, promuscuity, and other ungodly things shows how music burns a whole in the moral judgement part of one's brain."--D.T.S.


Jesus Love:
A demon left its imprint on my bro's towel on Monday. Look at the center of the picture. You can see eyes, nose, and a mouth. Under a magnifying glass, you can see very detailed sharp teeth. This happened the day after I officially accepted Jesus as my savior. I think Satan was trying to tap into my mind and take me back to the darkside. He failed. Call me a liar, but my whole family saw it. It is too detailed to be some coincidence or mind trick.

 

See what I mean? A demon in his brother's towel? Fuck off. Looks like that "evil" towel is really just your brother's "happy towel" which is disgusting and you shouldn't be posting this kind of shit on facebook. Much more to come, this kid's insane.

Pretty funny

I just think this is funny. Not that I'm pro-koran over the bible or anything, but our society does have this weird elitist mindset concerning christianity. This argument is like who's better, Goofy or Donald Duck? Who cares? They're both made up to make people feel better and encourage little kids to jump on board, which creates popularity and revenue for the corporation. That's my little rant for now.