Awesome Atheists

Just a fun list of some noteworthy atheists

• Woody Allen (1935-): American film director, writer, actor, comedian, and playwright
• Lance Armstrong (1971–): Road racing cyclist, won the Tour de France seven consecutive times
• Lewis Black (1948–): American comedian and actor.
• George Carlin (1937–2008): American comedian, actor and author; outspoken atheist who has described religion as being "the greatest bullshit story ever told."
• Ricky Gervais (1961–): British comedian and actor, co-creator of the original version of The Office
• Angelina Jolie (1975–): American actress.
• Larry King (1933–): Host of Larry King Live. In a June 26, 2004 interview on Larry King Live, guest Barbara Walters asked him if he believed in God and he said 'no'.
• Hugh Laurie (1959–): English actor, comedian, writer, and star of the television show House.
• Bruce Lee (1940–1973): martial artist, actor and philosopher. John Little states that Lee was an atheist. When asked in 1972 what his religious affiliation was, he replied "none whatsoever." Also in 1972, when asked if he believed in God, he responded, "To be perfectly frank, I really do not."^[
• Seth MacFarlane (1973–): Creator, animator, executive producer, actor, writer for American Dad! and Family Guy
• Bill Maher - American comedian, author, political satirist and host of HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher.
• John Malkovich (1953–): American actor, producer, and director
• Sir Ian McKellen (1939–): English stage and screen actor
• Barack Obama, Sr. (1936–1982): A senior economist for the Kenyan government, ex-Muslim, and father of United States President Barack Obama
• Patton Oswalt (1969–): American actor and comedian
• Brad Pitt (1963–): American actor and producer, best known for the films Fight Club, Se7en and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, has stated that he does not believe in God, and that he is partly atheist, partly agnostic.
• Keanu Reeves (1964–): Canadian-American actor best known for his portrayal of Neo in The Matrix trilogy and Ted Logan in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure and Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.
• Eddie Vedder (1964–): lead singer and lyricist of the band Pearl Jam.

Funny Facts

• The Bible is the world's most shoplifted book
• We've all had the urge to steal that little toy that we don't really need, but might be fun to have, and definitely isn't worth paying money for.

• "JEDI" (as in Darth Vader and Yoda) is an official religion with about 70,000 followers in Australia alone.
• If you want to believe in something that isn't real you might as well make it something awesome.

• Scientology is the belief that the intergalactic overlord, Xenu, who presided over 78 planets, over 78 million years ago, brought the overpopulated masses from the other planets to”The Prison Planet” Earth (called TeeGeeAk). Once here on earth, he bombed them with Hydrogen bombs.
• It's seriously difficult to make fun of that... it's just so stupid.

• From Islam: The Prophet said “If a house fly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease.”
• That's gross... Knock it off

Coolest Religion Ever

The Church of the SubGenius


Taken from http://listverse.com/2009/09/10/10-extremely-weird-religions/


The Church of the SubGenius is a parody religion that promotes slack, while in a meta-commentarial way, satirizes religion, conspiracy theories, UFOs, and popular culture. The church claims to have been founded in the 1950s by the “world’s greatest salesman” J. R. “Bob” Dobbs. “Bob” Dobbs is depicted as a cartoon of a Ward Cleaver-like man smoking a pipe. The church really started with the publication of SubGenius Pamphlet #1 in 1979. It found acceptance in underground pop-culture circles and has been embraced on college campuses, in the underground music scene, and on the Internet. An important SubGenius event occurred on July 5, 1998: X-Day. The Church had been predicting that on this day the world would be destroyed by invading alien armies known as the X-ists (which is short for “Men from Planet X”). When the event didn’t come to pass, the church administrator who predicted it was tarred and feathered – but allowed to continue on as administrator. Paul Reubens (Pee-wee Herman) is a SubGenius minister. Patrick Volkerding, the founder and maintainer of Slackware Linux, is also a SubGenius affiliate, and he has confirmed the Church and “Bob” inspired the name for Slackware.

Homosexuality vs. The Jesus Freaks

According to a lot of christians, homosexuality is this huge sin and every gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, etc. person is going to hell. I want to take a look at these two very different groups and maybe try to determine who is actually EVIL.

For the sake of streamlining this research, we will just focus on gay men, due to the fact that they are the group that seem to be most ridiculed by religious fanatics.

Evil doing: Really what has a gay man ever done? If you're a guy, maybe you were hit on once or twice, which might be a little uncomfortable, but deep down we all know that we are a little flattered. They might give you a hard time if your belt and shoes don't match and even then they are going to take you under their wing and help you (I know this is a huge generalization, but for the sake of argument stick with me). We've saw how great Queer Eye For The Straight Guy worked out for the dozens of lost heterosexual men out there. The gay population isn't out there screaming in your face every day and trying to convince you to be gay too. And let's be honest, gay men are usually pretty fucking funny. Just look at the pictures below.

"God created the rainbow so I could catwalk to Heaven"
"Keep your magic undies off my civil rights"
"You have two wives I want one husband"
So awesome, I love making fun of
Mormon's magic undies

"Pissing off the religious protesters: priceless" Now that's my kind of man. 

And now for our religious fanatic friends....

Evil doing: "GOD HATES JEWS" and "GOD HATES FAGS" Well so far those are some pretty evil and mean things to say. Sir, you don't know God, so I'm sure you didn't get a letter in the mail saying,

Dear Jim, 
Please make signs to let the world know who I hate. 
Love, 
God 
P.S. I totally got with that girl from the Christmas party

Now I'm all for freedom of speech and if you personally hate Jews and "fags" then go out with signs saying "I HATE (insert group)" But I really believe that this is just a way for people to go after groups of people that they don't like and use the excuse of it being "God's word." Fuck you, be a man and speak your mind. Believe it or not, I'd have a lot more respect for someone who says "I hate homos" because at least that person is stating their own opinion and not hiding behind some fictitious figure (it's still not the right opinion).

Final Verdict: 


Gays: Pretty cool, funny, don't care if you're gay or straight


God Lovers: Not cool, gay for god, not funny, want you to be straight and love god


Who's EVIL?

Me, My Girlfriend, and the Mormon Missionaries (part 2)

So picture this. It's about 7pm, dark outside, pouring rain and there's a knock at the door. I open the door and there are two young men drenched with rain water, wearing ponchos and huge smiles. From under the black ponchos I can see the white collared shirt and black tie peeking out. My first thought; It's dark and raining, a black poncho is very dangerous, they should really be wearing some kind of neon or reflective material. The next thing to cross my mind; what the hell do the mormons want now? One of them says "Hello, is (my girlfriend's name) here?" Yes she was there, but I come up with a story about how we just got home and are getting ready to go out, so I will have to go check to see if she can come to the door. I ask her if she wants to talk to our door-to-door religious salesmen tonight and she says no. So I return to the door and explain to the young men that my girlfriend can't come hang out with them on the porch right now. They say "That's fine, we can come back another day, we just wanted to stop by and say hi and see how she's doing" the whole time with this huge Book of Mormon eating grin on his face. The mormon missionaries are in love with my girlfriend and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Happy Birthday Jesus

So I was too busy celebrating that guy's birthday along with partying for the new year and celebrating my own birthday (the most important part), but I'm back now.

Me, My Girlfriend, and the Mormon Missionaries

Over the past couple of months my girlfriend and I have had a pair of young Mormon gentlemen knock on our door rather frequently. While most of us are jumping out of sight and tip-toeing away not to be detected by the visitors with the white shirts, black ties and big smiles, my girlfriend is the opposite. She opens the doors, steps outside and hears them out. The first time it was accidental, but now it's a biweekly event which turns into great stories. The most recent visit has been the most rewarding. I am happy to say that we are now the proud owners of "The Book of Mormon"! I know, you're jealous, just think of how useful this great piece of literature will be. So far, it's been a great conversation piece which allows me to explain to all of my friends how some Mormon guys are in love with my girlfriend. Also, due to the fact that it is a pretty substantially sized with lots of pages, it will be great to use as a paperweight, emergency fire starter or even as a weapon that I could throw at intruders (my aim is impeccable). I digress. The most valuable aspect of these visits so far has come from a small comment that was made about how we are not happy with our current lawn services (Jose's Gardening Services). Our Mormon Missionary friends informed my girlfriend that they are supposed to be helping the community so if we need them to come rake leaves or mow the lawn they will be more than happy to do so. Now we're talkin'. You're telling me that instead of overpaying Jose (his name is really Jose, I'm not being racist) I can have these happy-go-lucky, Joseph Smith loving, LDS fanatics do my yard for free? This is going to be fantastic!

Not our actual Mormons (but I'll try to get a picture with them)

I'm waiting for the day that I build up the courage to ask them about their special Mormon underwear.

Mormon underwear

I will be posting about our encounters with our Mormon Missionaries whenever they come to visit.